Today's post is another post in a series about therapy (maybe I should make a separate category...?). I've already written about the reasons for going to therapy, what I've learned and about therapy itself - I recommend you read them all! And today I will share with you the techniques and ways to deal with fear and anxiety that I went through with my psychologist during sessions. But remember that not all techniques have to suit you, but try them all and give them credit, because for something to work it has to be practiced at least for a while.

Each of these techniques affects the body and mind differently - sometimes it's relaxation and total letting go, and sometimes it's facing anxiety. With each one I will write how I practice it myself and how it helps me, but (!) I am not a specialist, so you can still read about these practices or ask in therapy :).

/ MEDITATION

I think I don't need to explain too much here. Meditation teaches mindfulness, and it's not just that kind of mindfulness like “I'm here and now”, but also awareness of ours thoughts - because thoughts are often the cause of our fears. Meditation teaches to catch these thoughts, notice them and transform them into ones that are supportive. I definitely prefer guided meditations more than sitting in silence or with music and a timer set for a while. I love guided meditions from Lavendaire but now I practice more with my one of my favorite yoga teachers Gosia Mostowska.

/ JOURNALING

I've been practicing for years, at first for just writing down memories, now for writing thoughts out of my head. I have two journals - the first is a classic journal with thoughts, what happened during a day etc., and the second is a journal that my psychologist recommended me to start. This is a journal for difficult thoughts, in which I write down those thoughts that cause my fear, stress, anxiety, sadness, panic. At first I thought that writing them down would keep those thoughts in my mind, but no. This practice allowed me to take them out of my head. I also recommend having a gratitude journal, because it helps to focus on the good moments and to see that many nice things happen to us in our daily lives.

/ INNER DIALOGUE

Talking to yourself. This is something we often forget. We also can help and support ourselves with a nice talk. This is not always easy, so in such moments it is more helpful to talk to another person, but in some situations, by talking to ourselves out loud or in our thoughts, we are able to let the fear go. In such moments, when I get a strong anxiety caused by a certain situation, I start saying to myself "easy Basia, it's just fear, fear is normal, concentrate on your breathing, it will help you calm down. It's okay, I'm with you, you're safe. It's fine and it's going to get even better." - I know this may seem strange at first, but (!) it works.

/ TALK TO A FRIEND

When internal dialogue doesn't help and you need something stronger it's better to call/go to someone and talk. Contact with another person can be very helpful and will allow you to deal with the fear. You don't need to explain the whole situation/story, just say that you are having an anxiety/fear attack and want to talk about that or about something completely different. And don't be afraid to talk about it - maybe in such a conversation you will learn that the other person also struggled or is still struggling with anxiety and dealt with it in such and such a way.

/ HUGGING, PHYSICAL TOUCH

Let me say right away that this does not necessarily work with everyone, because there are people who are more and less sensitive to touch. For example, I need a hug, the touch of another person, a simple pat on the shoulder or on the back. Fun fact, you can also hug yourself and it works as well. I recommend hugging yourself and closing your eyes and massaging your back and shoulders. Even if it doesn't work 100%, it helps calm the fear at least for a while.

/ MOVEMENT, PHYSICAL ACTIVITY

This is even scientifically confirmed by many articles! I even wrote about it here. First of all, endorphins. Second, we turn off our thinking and focus on something other than fear. Third, we release tension in the body. For stress, yoga is perfect, but actually any physical activity you like will work great here :) .

/ AWARENESS THAT IT WILL PASS

Repeating to yourself that it won't last forever. Because it really will pass. Life consists of different moments – light, nice, beautiful, but also difficult, stressful, sad. And this is normal. But even the most difficult moments will pass. And those that you think already last forever will pass too.

There are even more techniques, but the ones I've listed here I practice almost every day. I really recommend you to try each of them! And if you practice something I haven't listed here then be sure to let me know in the comments. I'm hugging you tightly and supporting you mentally, wherever you are on the way to a peaceful mind!

with love

Basia

// April essentials.

There is a saying in Polish which basically means “April’s weather can fool you every day” and actually it perfectly describes the weather in April this year. I don’t know about you, but the weather has a strong influence on my mood :p beginning of April was very cloudy and rainy and so was I – gloomy and sad. But when the sun started to go out more often I became much happier.

What else? April was a little bit challenging for me (and May is going to be challenging too) because I’m looking for an internship for this summer and let’s say it’s difficult for me… especially when everybody around has already found their internship. Well, I’m trying to stay calm and focus on the good. Hopefully by the end of May I could say that I found an internship!

Let me start by saying that this is my first post after a very long and somehow unexpected break... but I needed it to reorganize some stuff a bit, which, by the way, we'll talk about in today's post. This year, the winter has been kind of overwhelming me, making it quite difficult for me to get out of it. The arrival of spring itself didn't help, because this spring has been coming and going back, as if it couldn't decide whether it was already the moment, or it needs to wait a few more days... but it finally came, and I finally felt it too! And today we will talk about what to do to wake up for spring.

/eng

Weather influences my mood a lot, and I've already stopped fooling myself into thinking otherwise. When the sun shines I really want to get out and walk instead of taking the tram, walk through the park that I always avoid and genuinely enjoy the nice weather.

I got a little lazy over the winter and neglected my yoga routine, so I decided that spring is the perfect time to get back to it. I talked about physical activity more in another post, here, so I won't go into details, but I'll just say one thing - endorphins!

Spring for me means new vegetables - I love this moment, when the first of this year's vegetables begin to appear in the store! chives, tomatoes, cucumbers, and radishes appear in my dishes more and more... not gonna lie, my spring plate is full of beautiful colors.

We talk about spring cleaning for a reason. Despite the fact that as a little girl I wasn’t a big fan of this spring cleaning, now I like to do it. Of course, it's not that I don't clean all winter and then in spring my studio is full of dust :p but I do a bigger cleanup, arranging things in a different way and bringing some freshness to my place!

As I mentioned before - I get lazy in the winter, and this applies not only to physical activity, but also to my daily rituals in general. In April, I decided to build a new morning routine so I have a pattern I can follow and I can start the day in a very nice way. Same in the evening, so I can finish my day with a smile on my face :)

These are some of my suggestions, but maybe you have some too? Be sure to let us know in the comments!

Today's post is a continuation of my previous post, in which I talked about the mind-body / body-mind relationship - if you haven't read it, look there first! And today we'll talk about reaching out for help from a specialist who knows how to help.

Dzisiejszy post jest kontynuacją poprzedniego wpisu, w którym opowiadałam o relacji ciała z umysłem i umysłu z ciałem – jeśli nie czytaliście, to zajrzyjcie najpierw tam! Z kolei dzisiaj porozmawiamy o sięganiu po pomoc u specjalisty, który zna się na rzeczy.

I have the feeling that recently I saw a lot of posts about how various diseases look like in people. And actually there's nothing dangerous in those texts but sometimes when we read such posts we begin to wonder if we ourselves are not sick. But without the help of a specialist, we can't diagnose ourselves and we can’t say what our condition is, because each of us is an individual, and different diseases can look different in everyone.

Mam wrażenie, że ostatnio Internet jest pełen postów o tym, jak różne choroby wyglądają u danych osób. Nie byłoby w tym nic złego, gdyby nie to że czytając takie wpisy zaczynamy się zastanawiać, czy sami nie jesteśmy na coś chorzy. Ale prawda jest taka, że bez pomocy specjalisty nie jesteśmy w stanie sami stwierdzić jaki jest nasz stan zdrowia, bo każdy z nas jest jednostką indywidualną i u każdego różne choroby mogą wyglądać inaczej.

What is the best way to diagnose? Go to a specialist. And if you don't know where to start, go to your family doctor first and from there you can get instructions on where to go after. Also, listen to your body, what it tells you - maybe it is reacting to a certain thing in a certain way, or maybe you changed something in your routine recently? The body knows and the body will tell.

Jaki jest najlepszy sposób na diagnozę? Udać się do specjalisty. A jeśli nie wiecie gdzie zacząć to warto udać się do lekarza rodzinnego, stamtąd możemy być przekierowani dalej. Posłuchajcie też swojego ciała, co wam mówi – może reaguje na dany bodziec w określony sposób, albo w ostatnim czasie coś zmieniliście w swojej rutynie? Ciało wie i ciało powie.

This post is not meant to scare you but rather to motivate you to get tested regularly, for your own awareness that everything is ok. And remember that not everyone on the internet is a doctor and something that worked for them may not necessarily work for you. Everyone is different and it’s beautiful in its own way, so listen to your body and take care of yourself <3

Ten post nie ma na celu was nastraszyć a raczej zmotywować do tego by badać się regularnie, dla własnej świadomości, że wszystko jest okej. I pamiętajcie, że nie każdy w internecie jest lekarzem i coś, co się sprawdziło u danej osoby niekoniecznie musi się sprawdzić u was. Każdy z nas jest inny i jest to na swój sposób piękne, więc słuchajcie ciała i dbajcie o siebie <3

The fact the mind affects the body is something I have always known. Many times I have felt the effects of stress and other emotions in different parts of my body, and most of the time I have been aware that if I have a stressful time or an intense one with a lot going on, sooner or later it will influence my health. But I often forgot, and in fact I still forget, that this relationship works both ways, which means my body can affect how I feel mentally.

I wrote a bit about the first relationship in this post. Both emotions and what we say to each other have a huge impact on how we feel physically (mentally too, by the way). By having a negative and depressing dialogue, our body will respond with the same - negative feelings and lack of energy, which is not a supportive or a good practice for us. Hence there is so much talk about the internal dialogue that happens in the mind. Good words and positive messages reflect on the physical condition – I’m sure it’s been already a subject of scientific research which can prove this theory.

This second relationship is often forgotten, at least I think so. I have been forgetting it lately, but now I’m sure that my body was affecting my mood. I wondered where my negative thoughts were coming from, why I didn't want to do anything or why I was upset. The answer turned out to be trivially simple - I was hungry, tired or I didn’t sleep enough.

What does it give us? The awareness that we have control. By taking care of our internal dialogue so it’s good for us, but also by taking care of nourishing our body, we really gain a lot. There's a reason why we say in a healthy body a healthy spirit! :) so let's take care of ourselves and hug ourselves daily and put all those nice compliments like a cream on your face!

This month in Vienna is slowly coming to an end, and I have one more week left, which I will try to make the most of. But the past three weeks here have made me think, because I spent most of my time alone, with myself and I realized a few things.

First of all, the fact that I didn’t/don’t know how to spend time alone. On the one hand, I am able to find activities for myself, and sometimes I really have something to do, but there were moments when I was finding activities for myself because I couldn’t just rest, I had to do something. Although, in fact, I was afraid that I would just feel lonely being with myself.

As I wrote in the previous post, this time was dedicated to learning how to spend time with myself and treat myself as an actual companion... however strange that may sound. What I mean here is that we often forget that we can be a companion for ourselves to spend time with. And we don't have to look for another person to do it.

In addition, I also realized that as an overthinker I am afraid of the thoughts that may come to my mind when I am alone. Before my trip, I told my therapist that I wouldn't be in Poland for a month so we wouldn’t meet in February and when I would be back I may return to therapy. We both decided to treat this time in Vienna as "putting theory into practice" - everything I've learned so far has to finally be used in everyday life.

I must say that I've kind of fallen into a strange way of thinking – I have to be in therapy until something shifts in my head and as long as the bad thoughts are still there. But in the most realistic scenario, the bad thoughts will always appear, so I just have to start implementing what I've learned, because it won't change on its own.

Coming out of old thinking patterns is not easy, because the brain is just lazy and used to one thing so it won’t want to change it. You need to help it a little and give it more time. In addition to therapy, I recommend Lavendaire's channel, which has a lot of guided meditations that make mornings and evenings more pleasant, and make changing your thinking easier :)

I’m leaving you with some links to her videos! Have a good weekend!

If someone had told me two years ago that I would live in Vienna for a month and that almost every weekend I would go on a trip, I think I would hadn’t belived in it… OR it would have been very difficult to believe.

Gdyby ktoś powiedział mi tak ze dwa lata temu, że w 2023 roku będę miała możliwość spędzenia całego miesiąca w Wiedniu, a moje weekendy będą się wiązały z nieustającymi podróżami, to chyba bym nie uwierzyła… albo byłoby mi bardzo ciężko w to uwierzyć.

This month I’m in Vienna with my boyfriend which is really amazing for us. As we are in a long distance relationship we see each other just for a weekend or maybe for a whole week so having one month together is like a miracle for us.

Ten miesiąc jestem w Wiedniu razem z moim chłopakiem, co jest dla nas niezwykłe, bo będąc w związku na odległość widzimy się zazwyczaj albo na weekend albo na maksymalnie tydzień, więc jeden miesiąc razem jest jak spełniające się marzenie.

On the other hand I will have a lot of time for myself – Vivien works and he can’t take a whole month off so the most of the day I’m going to spend with myself. It’s a challenge for me because I was always avoiding being alone so now it’s time to face it and find a peace with myself.

Z drugiej strony, w tym miesiącu będę mieć dużo czasu dla siebie – Vivien pracuje i siłą rzeczy nie mógłby wziąć urlopu na cały miesiąc, więc przez większość dnia jestem sama. Jest to dla mnie duże wyzwanie, bo często unikałam takich momentów bycia samej ze sobą, więc teraz staram się nad tym pracować, znajdować nowe zajęcia i nie bać się tego.

Not gonna lie I’m excited! All those plans and coming things are amazing, really. In the past I would say that I’m privileged for that but now I know that some of those things didn’t fall down from the sky but they are consequences of my actions and previous choices and decisions. And I am very very veeeryy grateful for that. Cheers to this month and this life!

Nie będę ukrywać, że jestem podekscytowana tymi planami i zbliżającymi się wydarzeniami. Kiedyś powiedziałabym, że jestem uprzywilejowana, ale teraz wiem, że niektóre te wydarzenia nie spadły mi z nieba, tylko były konsekwencją moich wcześniejszych decyzji i wyborów. I za to jestem sobie ogromnie wdzięczna i wznoszę toast za ten piękny czas – cheers!

Last year in November I returned to therapy - mainly because of my excessive thinking. I had reached a point where my thoughts were becoming unbearable for me, and the amount of energy I was spending on not-good-enough strategies to throw out these thoughts was exceeding my energy resources. I told myself that this couldn't go on and that this was the moment to ask for help. And this was a very important and necessary decision.

This is my second therapy in my life - the first allowed me to understand that what I thought was wrong with myself, was actually 100% normal and could be so. For that moment it was enough for me, so I finished the therapy. Now, as I wrote earlier, I am working on my thoughts. Overthinking is a problem. Maybe not a psychological disease, but it can make life difficult and have an influence on bad moods and various situations, hence my decision for therapy. Now I'm learning about my mistakes and thought traps, and also how to recognize them and not to get into old patterns.

Although my therapy is not over, I have already learned a few things. Or maybe I should say that I got to know some stuff, learning how to use it in a daily basis is the next step. First of all, I learned that a thought is a thought, not a certainty. There are a lot of types of thoughts, sometimes they can frighten us, surprise us, astonish us or disgust us, but they are only creations of our mind, not reality. They aren’t emotions neither - a thought can generate emotions and some behavior, but in itself it is not an emotion. And even though they come freely to my mind I can still control them. Pushing out my thoughts from my mind is not the best strategy, because they will come back stronger, but choosing whether I want to follow them or not gives better results.

The second thing I've learned is all the thought traps I fall into automatically - catastrophizing the situation, seeing only the negatives, generalizing that if something happens to someone else, the same thing will happen to me. Even though I might appear as an optimistic person - and indeed most of the time I am – my head is full of negative scenarios and the number of them is far greater than the number of optimistic ones. My therapist always asks me to give the worst-case scenario of a given situation, then the best-case scenario, and finally the realistic one, which is somewhere in the middle. And suddenly the situation becomes... easier to understand.

And the last thing I've learned is that change needs a decision - conversations with my therapist give me the knowledge I need to change, but now it's up to me to make the decision to change what I want to change. It takes work and energy plus I need to constantly remind myself of new strategies and aids, which is not that easy. But it is doable.

Therapy is not always easy, but the fact of going to therapy is already a huge stepto your better mental health. Sending hugs to everyone - both those in therapy and those before! And to those who are after, congratulations, because you've come through a great process. Crossing fingers for all of you guys! You got this!

The end of the year and the beginning of new one is a moment to throwback and sum up the past 365 days and think about and plan the coming 365 days. Some time ago it looked differently in my case – well, the summing up process looks still the same, but the planning process has changes. Let me show you how!

About 3 or 4 years ago every New Year was a moment to think about resolutions – I always wanted to change a lot so I was creating a long list of New Year’s resolutions. New morning and evening routines, reading more books, seeing more my friends, spending less time on social media… and actually after a month or two it was too much for me so I had to reorganize those resolutions and make them less demanding. Then I understood that it was better to have less but to care about the quality.

One of my favorite Polish podcaster Karolina Sobanska once said that instead of New Year’s resolutions she preferred to create an intention for coming year and to concentrate on new habits that were connected to this intention. I decided to try this strategy and so last year, in 2022, I chose my intention – it was widely understood wellbeing. And actually during last year, I had this idea in my mind and more or less consciously I was caring about myself – I went to cosmetologist to take care of my skin, I had three therapeutic massages and I started again my therapy. The intention let me do a lot of things without precising it before.

For this year I’ve already chosen my new intention – it’s calmness and letting myself live the life, because it’s the most necessary thing for me right now. Beside that there are some other things I want to work on during this year, especially my time of sleeping because I didn’t care about this during last year and at the end I didn’t feel good so now it’s time for me to work on that.

I have to admit that I really like this time of planning and choosing intention! But I can imagine that not everybody feels the same. For those of you who don’t like this time – do what you want in a way that you want! Not everybody has to have some resolutions or plans and that’s okay. Here you have some other inspirations that may help you!

This is the third post about Christmas gifts! Well, to be honest, I wasn’t sure about posting it but I thought that I still had some ideas to share so why not? Here we go with Christmas wish list 3.0!

To już trzeci świąteczny post na blogu! Nie będę ukrywać, że zastanawiałam się, czy publikować kolejny prezentownik, ale doszłam do wniosku, że nadal mam kilka pomysłów na świąteczne prezenty, o których nie pisałam wcześniej, a które mogą być inspiracją dla was.

I have a little story to tell – when I was about 6-7 yo, I was really interested in all the handmade stuff – decoupage, handmade bracelets, book marks, paintings etc. I used it to prepare Christmas presents and this idea of doing presents by myself stayed in my mind for a very long time. But then I realized that sometimes it was too difficult to make something which is handmade, beautiful and useful so I decided to buy presents at the store. In the beginning I wasn’t very happy with this idea because I felt it wasn’t special enough but at the end I could find some good stuff. This year I realized that sometimes it doesn't have to be a thing, it also could be time spent together with a person who is important to us. Or a subscription to a platform with online workshops.

Na początek mała anegdotka – kiedy miałam jakieś 6-7 lat moją pasją było szeroko pojęte rękodzieło – decoupage, bransoletki z muliny, dziergane zakładki do książek, malowanie na szkle itd… Dużo tego było. Wykorzystywałam to do robienia prezentów świątecznych i mocno zakorzeniłam w sobie poczucie, że prezent świąteczny musi być własnoręcznie robiony. Potem, kiedy byłam już starsza, trochę wyrosłam z tego przekonania, ale nadal nie chciałam kupować prezentów. Dopiero po jakimś czasie doszłam do wniosku, że lepiej jest kupić coś przydatnego niż wymyślać własnoręczny prezent na siłę. Przekonałam się, że nawet prezent niematerialny, o którym wspomnę w dzisiejszym poście, może być znacznie ciekawszy niż obrazek na szkle.

As I mentioned in the beginning there are two other posts about Christmas presents – first one, from 2020 (!) is about last minute Christmas presents ideas. Second one, from last year, is about coming up with an idea for a gift but you can also find some new ideas. This year I decided to create a list with ideas for things and experiences that can appear under the Christmas tree.

Kilka pomysłów na prezenty własnoręczne pojawiło się dwa lata temu (!) w poście z 2020 roku, z kolei w zeszłym roku podzieliłam się tym, jak wymyślić prezent i dorzuciłam kilka kolejnych opcji. W tym roku wydłużam listę prezentów, ale tym razem podzielę je na materialne i niematerialne – takie, które można dotknąć, i takie, które można przeżyć/poczuć.

/things

Some classics – candles, teas, coffee beans, accessories for coffee or tea lovers, everything that can give a moment of small pleasure. Next – presents that are somehow dedicated to different types of people – planners, calendars, cabin bags (for travelers of course!), a city or country guide. And if we know that this person is interested in something, maybe we can do a research and find a product from this special category. Last idea – puzzles, board games, card games or even LEGO sets. It can be a huge fun, trust me!

.materialne

Kilka klasyków – świeczki zapachowe, herbaty sypane, ziarna dobrej kawki, akcesoria do parzenia kawy czy herbaty, czyli wszelkiego rodzaju umilacze czasu. Dalej na liście mamy prezenty bardziej spersonalizowane, czyli takie, które nadają się dla danego typu osoby – planery i kalendarze, pojemniczki na kosmetyki do bagażu podręcznego, album ze zdjęciami ze wspólnych wyjazdów, czy nietuzinkowy przewodnik po danym miejscu. A jak wiemy, że dana osoba jest zainteresowana czymś konkretnym, to poszukajmy czegoś w tej zawężonej kategorii – jeśli się mocno zagłębimy w temat, to można znaleźć wiele perełek! Plus na koniec dorzucam gry planszowe i karciane, klasyczne puzzle, czy zestawy LEGO – serio, to mogą być bardzo trafione prezenty.

/experiences

All the things we can’t literally touch – experiences, workshops, subscription, meetings. Starting with all the extreme things like parachute jump, through a ride in a luxury car, and ending with a relaxing massage. But it can also be a simple thing – like a meeting for a cup of coffee, a walk, phoning each other or going to the cinema. And then you have subscriptions to some platforms with workshops, audiobooks, language courses… you have a lot of possibilities here! It’s a good option especially if we know that this person wanted to buy it.

.niematerialne

Wszystkie te, których dosłownie nie można dotknąć – doświadczenia, spotkania, subskrypcje, warsztaty. Jest tego ogrom. Zaczynając od takich ekstremalnych jak skok ze spadochronem, przez przejazd luksusowym samochodem, aż po relaksacyjny masaż. Ale to może być też coś znacznie prostszego, na przykład poświęcony czas drugiej osobie – można podarować bony na wyjścia na kawę, na spacer, na telefon, czy do kina. Kolejnym punktem na liście mogą być subskrypcje do platform z audiobookami, warsztatami online, czy kursami – to jest naprawdę dobra opcja zwłaszcza jeśli wiemy, że dana osoba sama chciała sobie wykupić dostęp.

As you can see this list is long and full of different ideas! Would you add something else? Leave a comment down below and make this list longer :)

Lista prezentów i opcji jest długa i potrafi być zaskakująca. Może coś z tych pomysłów będzie dla Was przydatne! :) dajcie znać, co wy planujecie położyć pod choinkę i jakie macie inne pomysły na prezenty – wydłużajmy listę dalej!

with love
Basia

PS all the photos are taken by Yiseul, my Erasmus friend <3